


Scraps

by BeaRyan



Series: Shiloh [3]
Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Discussion of Rape, Drug Use, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 14:04:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1094783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeaRyan/pseuds/BeaRyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working with your lover's ex is never easy.  Jason and Bass each have to come to terms with Bass' history with Miles. Due to a lack of canon information, this draws heavily on my headcanon in which Miles was a very bad partner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scraps

Miles and Bass huddled over the tattered maps, rapidly flipping between pages and speaking in a clipped code that shut out the others. Charlie shoved herself between them and poked a determined finger at the terrain line running through the upper left quadrant of the top page. 

"Here?" she asked. "You want me here?" 

"No, I want you here," Miles said, indicating a spot on the second page. "I want Jason there." Miles glanced up at Jason, who leaned against the far wall with his arms crossed. "You OK with that?" 

"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?" he asked. 

When Miles didn't bother to answer, Rachel spoke up to object again. “This is a suicide mission.” 

They ignored her comment, but Bass looked up to meet his lover's stony glare. "Come over here and look at this," Bass said. 

Jason crossed the room and glanced at the map. "You want me on the ridgeline without cover? Great. Thanks Miles. Great to see you again, too." 

Bass put a firm hand on Jason’s back, the gesture of a commander to a subordinate, drawing him into line. It was impersonal and infuriating. Bass explained in the same determined, persuasive tone that had put him in power in Philadelphia, "We need you to lay down cover fire so we can get in. We need you to pull this off." 

"Maybe you shouldn't do it," Jason said. 

"That's three against two," Rachel said. "This plan is off." 

"I didn't say I wouldn't go along with it," Jason said. "I said I don’t like it. It doesn’t have to be this way." 

Bass stepped away from him, putting space between them and warily eyeing Rachel and Miles. To Jason he said quietly, "Why don't you go get some air?" 

"Fine," Jason said, grabbing his jacket and heading for the door. 

As he crossed the threshold he heard Miles say, "So he's the new you and you're the new me. Great. Does that make Charlie into Emma or Nora?"

"Maybe it makes her Rachel," Bass answered. "One happy little family and all." 

Jason didn't bother to keep the door from slamming. He headed to the barn, uncertain if he was going to saddle up and ride out, burn the place down, or cry. He was on his second joint by the time Bass found him. 

"Smells like a lot of pot," Bass said taking a seat in the hay beside him. "Are you having an episode?"

Jason answered, "You mean do I want to choke the hell out of someone? Nothing to do with the Patriots. Why don’t you ask what set me off?" 

"It's not what you think," Bass said. 

"Why don't you tell me what I think?” Jason yelled. “That you've been in love with him since before I was born? That he thinks Charlie is the only thing between us? That you’ve put bruises and bite marks on me from collar bone to ankle so that anyone who’d check can tell I’m claimed, but before we came over tonight you made sure I was wearing long sleeves?” 

Jason paused for breath and felt his anger muffle as the smoke kicked in. He sent up silent thanks to the grower who’d sold him Patriot Kush. She’d tried to explain how it balanced the serotonin, dopamine and adrenaline in a body misfiring after Patriot training, but he hadn’t really understood her. He’d bought a sample and then bought her entire stock. On it he could still feel the hard edges of his emotions, his feelings were still accessible, but it was liked they were wrapped in a pillow. He could think again. When he resumed his voice had slid from hot anger to cold realism. “Why is it when we're with the people who matter most I'm just the lowest ranking soldier in the room?" 

Bass turned away from him. "It's not that simple." 

"Yeah it is," Jason said, taking another long drag on his joint before letting his head droop. He held the smoke as long as he could, trying to push past functional and on into numb before finally releasing it in a long, resigned exhale. "You like threesomes. Miles, well probably Rachel, isn't into it at the moment so you settled for me." 

"No!" Bass yelled. "You don't understand a damn thing. Shut up." 

Jason could hear Bass’ unhinged tone but he couldn’t stop himself. He’d been indifferent to the President of the Republic; it was Bass he loved. If his boyfriend was gone and only the President remained there was nothing for him here. "Or what? You'll kill me? Go ahead. This death by a thousand small insults thing that you’ve put me through tonight sucks."

"No." Bass' voice caught in his throat, the words leaving wounds as they burned their way free. "Threesomes are fine for fucking. They're dessert. You shouldn’t try to live on it, but if it's all you can get it will keep you alive for a long damn time." 

"I'm too stoned for this bullshit, Bass.”

Bass finally turned back to face Jason. Tears he refused to let fall blurred his vision, but he could still make out Jason’s long, strong form as he stretched across the flattened mounds of faded golden hay. Bass walked slowly to him, placing one foot on either side of Jason's legs and sat on his thighs before curling forward to rest his forehead against Jason's chest. 

"How long do you think Miles and I were together?" Bass asked. 

"I dunno," Jason said. "I try not to think about it." 

"Well think about it now," Bass ordered, trying to steady his breath and straighten his spine. "If I can stand to think about it then you can too. How long?" 

“You don’t get to be the hurt one here,” Jason said. “I’m the one who had to stand by and watch like I’m nothing while you and your ex made plans to recreate your glory days.”

“Jason, please. I’m trying to explain. How long do you think Miles and I were really together?” 

"I know you were both with Emma in high school. I heard something about Nora and Rachel back at the house, and he was with Nora until a few months before he tried to kill you. Twenty-five years?" 

Bass' head slid off Jason's chest and into the hay as he let out a low, pained laugh. "You'd think that, wouldn’t you? Hell, there was a time when I would have counted it that way, too."

Jason's hands moved into Bass' hair, wrapping the tangled curls around his fingers as if settling the style would settle his lover's heart. Not just lover, but friend. As numb a Jason had made himself, he still hated to see Bass hurt. 

"So tell me," Jason said. “How long?”

"You really want to hear about this?" Bass asked. 

"No," Jason said. "I really don't, but if we're going to keep working with him, I guess I better know." 

"Miles and Emma were together in high school. Sometimes they let me in too." Bass pinched a single piece of hay between his fingers and rolled it back and forth, watching it spin and bend. When it finally broke, he continued.

"Miles liked giving orders, and I did whatever he told me to do. My one time alone with Emma was just that. One time. With Emma. I didn't get Miles alone until two years later. We lasted six months. He didn't even bother to break up with me. He just started bringing girls home again. Sometimes I was invited, sometimes I wasn't. After a while they’d disappear and it would be my turn again. We never talked about it. It was just what we did. Over and over.” 

Jason stroked Bass’ back, soothing him like a beloved pet, the habit already ingrained despite how new their relationship still was. Bass threaded his arms under the small of Jason's back and nuzzled his head against his ribs. 

"What about Nora?" Jason asked. 

"Nora and Miles were wild together. I wasn’t the only one allowed in." Bass exhaled deeply, relaxing into the confession as the words lost their weight. He’d been around, lived fully. He didn't feel badly about that. "There was no heart in it.” 

“And Rachel?” Jason asked. 

Bass tensed. “I don’t want to talk about that.” 

“I don’t want to talk about any of this. Do it anyway.”

Bass hesitated, rubbing a hand through his beard and sucking in a ragged breath. “They have a long, messy history. Basically, during their last run together, while she was in Philly, Miles had us do things she didn’t want to do.” 

Jason sat up, forcing Bass out of his lap. “Did you rape her?”

“Don’t look at me like that.” 

“Answer the question. Did you rape Rachel?”

“Jason,” Bass began. 

The tone sent Jason over the edge. A brick of feeling wrapped in a pillow is still a brick, and this one struck him in the chest. He’d heard a lot of justifications for shitty acts over the years. He wasn’t going to listen to this one. “Answer the question. Did she say no and you did it anyway?” 

“No. Not like that,” Bass said. “There used to be a lot more shades to it.” 

Confusion battled with the muffled bits of horror breaking through Jason’s self-medication. Bass had his kinks, but Jason had never suspected this was one of them. That she was Charlie’s mother made it worse. “What shades? Did you force her or not?”

“Not like you’re thinking. Not physical force.” Bass shook his head as he searched for words. “We did things to please him that we didn’t want to do. Things that we shouldn’t have done.” 

Jason sagged, finally able to breathe again. “You did things to please him that you didn’t want to do. You’re saying you were in love with him. I already knew that,” Jason said. 

Bass caught his gaze and Jason watched as his eyes shifted from stormy skies to ocean blue. “That was then. Now I’m in love with you.” 

Jason shoved away the lazy attempt at sentiment. He needed to have this conversation tonight, while his emotions were in check and he could think. He wasn’t willing to live in Miles’ shadow, and he didn’t know when he’d next find the courage to climb out of it. He’d spent too much of his life scrounging for the scraps of people’s hearts. He’d have a full portion or nothing this time. 

Jason said, “I’m not you and Charlie isn’t Rachel. You don’t control us.” 

“Where did you get that idea?” Bass asked. 

“I heard what you said to Miles as I was leaving.” 

“I just wanted to hurt him.”

“Yeah, well,” Jason said. “You hurt me more than you hurt him. You treated me like I was nothing, and I let you.” 

“What do you want me to do?” Bass asked. “Shove my tongue in your mouth in front of all of them?”

“What do you want me to do? Hang around the edges of your life? Settle for the hours of your time that Miles doesn’t want while you wait for him to invite you back to bed? We have to leave here, Bass.”

“It won’t be like that,” Bass insisted. 

“It already is like that. I’m not going to hang around and watch you chase another man.” Jason rose to standing and forced himself to cross the barn and grab the tack for his horse.

“You can’t leave me,” Bass begged.

“Would you really wish on me what Miles has put you through? You think I should spend every day you’re with me knowing you’ll leave me when you get a better offer? You know that’s where this is going. Hell, that may be where we are already.” 

Bass watched as Jason prepared his horse, setting the reins and stirrups for his journey and double checking the buckles. 

“It won’t be like that,” Bass repeated. Jason didn’t answer him. 

“Where will you go?” Bass asked. 

“Tonight I’m going back to the hotel to try to get some sleep. Tomorrow… Tomorrow I’m not going up on the ridgeline to lay down cover fire. Beyond that, I don’t know. Be careful, OK?” 

“What about Charlie?” Bass asked, throwing out anything that might slow down Jason’s methodical abandonment. 

“What about her?” 

“She’ll miss you.” 

“Bass, it’s all been different since Christmas. She’ll make it without me.” 

“She’s still your friend.”

“You’re my friend too, and I still have to go.” 

Bass watched in silence as Jason finished readying the horse and himself for the ride home. When Jason hoisted himself into the saddle, Bass handed him the reins but didn’t let go.

“Bass, you know who you never mentioned? Shelly. Shelly loved you.”

Bass’ eyes grew hard. “Shelly died.” 

“Everyone dies sometime. She died in the arms of a man who loved her and within sight of the life she wanted.” Jason ran his thumb over the back of Bass’ hand. “I know it sucked for you to be the one left behind, but there are worse ways to die. Alone. Unloved.” 

“Stop.” 

Jason leaned down and kissed him, the edges of his emotions shearing through the protection of the drugs. “I love you, Bass. Goodbye.” 

With that, Jason kicked his horse and headed away into the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and crit con are welcome. Thanks to El for reading it and letting me know what was too much.


End file.
